So sportswriter Mike Penner of the LA Times is a transsexual. He feels he should be Christine...why this revelation was sports page worthy is anyone's guess. Just in case anyone out there is wondering what the hell happened to Mike Penner's columns now you know. Christine is taking over. Anyone else think he is praying hardcore that male pattern baldness doesn't run in his family? Read the full story HERE
Here is a video of a promo for some new song/album of his (should be safe for work, it's just 2 people kissing covered in blood). It's pretty much just a video of him making out with his new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood. I guess I would do that too if I was 40 years old and I was nailing a 19 year old so I can't blame him too much...still a douche who tries too hard to be "shocking" rehashing Alice Cooper bits though.
She has been "singing" more and more lately...and it makes me wish she would just sit around looking hot instead. Here is a video of her "singing" with Jesus and Mary Chain this past weekend at Coachella. Can you hear her? I can't. In the close up of her mouth she is clearly mumbling. Ridiculous...
I'm not expert on women's fasions, but what it the point of wearing a shirt that covers absolutely nothing and looks retarded? Is it a mosquito net, does she fear malaria? Holy shit it's malaria...we're all doomed!
BTW-Judging by all the recent sightings of her, it looks like I have a new neighbor. Should be fun getting run off the road by papparazzo merauders in my own neighborhood in addition to work. Nice.
More pix HERE
For those of you who's trip to Iran is coming up, I have bad news. They aren't allowing "Western hairdos" anymore. I'm not sure what qualifies so consult your Islamic hair law manual before you go. That is all.
Iranian Barbers
I noticed that it was requiring people to sign up to comment. There is a way to turn that off..I have done that. So comment if you'd like without having to add another e-mail to delete on a weekly basis or having to sign up to be a member at another place. ;)
This is equal parts fucked up and hilarious. The squirrels probably didn't get fucked up so I don't feel as horrible for cracking up. Check it out. (Thanks again to Sonja)
OK sorry for the non-funny/amusing post, but it's interesting news (to me anyway) and it does kinda bug me. begin rant\ Last year the US made it illegal for banks to transfer money to online casinos. This hit the industry with multi billion dollar losses as the US market was the biggest cash cow. All the legit businesses were pushed out and now all of the shady characters remain (i.e. casinos who happily take your money but take 5 weeks to pay out, if at all). Rep. Barney Frank is starting the process to repeal the law. Partly because he believes it's an infringement on personal freedoms (which I agree with) but I am sure the WTO undoubtedly hitting the US with sanctions over this and the European Union considering a similar move certainly doesn't hurt. The fact that the US would stand to make somewhere in the neighborhood $4-10 BILLION a year off the taxes is probably pretty attractive as well. I wouldn't expect any definitive movement on this until after the elections (unless the WTO speeds up the sanctions process) Here's a story for more and a petition for you to sign if you feel the same that will be delivered to Rep. Frank. /end rant Online Gambling: Repeal UIGEA
Nothing should be allowed to be this kick ass! I had GI JOE figures who had this kind of shit, it's not supposed to be real! Too bad it can't land like a regular plane or a jet pack can but still. JET-MAN.COM MORE PIX HERE
Who in the fuck looked at a dead mouse and said "Hmmm...I should really shove some optical electronics up that things ass so I can control my computer. Why have I been using a plastic one like a sucker all these years!?!??"
See the video and instructions on how to make your own affront to nature: HERE
Michael Jordan partying in Mexico. Wonder why he got divorced? I also what the over under is on the number of minutes it took before he said "Hi, I'm Michael Jordan, Billionaire and world famous athlete, would you like to fuck now?" if I was MJ, it would be about 2 seconds. Money in the bank.
source
I think I liked her better before her seafaring adventures. Could they slap a larger hunk of plastic to her face? It's gonna take a lot more to ugg her up...like advancing age.
Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton
You'll be happy to know that the price of keeping up your crippling addiction to blow will not only be cheaper this year, it will also be a more pure high. Phew! I was getting worried. Now you can race yourself faster to dependency and an early grave faster and cheaper.
As long as you get to fuck a few models on the way down it's probably at least half worth it.
U.S. drug czar's letter: Cocaine prices drop - CNN.com
Tyra Banks Pays $120 Brunch Tab After Mix-Up | Russell Simmons, Tyra Banks : People.com: "Tyra Banks finally paid a brunch bill Thursday after mistakenly leaving a Manhattan eatery without settling the check last weekend."
This is basically a total joke. If an average Joe walked out on a bill the manager would fist fuck you with a crowbar before calling the cops on your ass, even if it truly was accidental. I guess it helps to be rich, famous and good looking when fucking people over.
BTW $120 bill for brunch? Isn't that supposed to be a light meal? Also, hasn't Tyra become a big enough fat ass as it is at this point that her bill should be closer to $2 for a few months? Yeah, I thought so too.
Fuck it, animal theme so far, how about a freaky lookin' two headed turtle for ya? If I had two head our combined brain power could crush granite just thinking about it. Damn evolution....
So there is now a multimedia presentation with the latest design of the "Chicago Spire" as it is called now. It will eventually DWARF Taipei 101 (the current leader) by nearly 700 ft and bring the title back to Chicago (which it never would have lost if not for strange technicalities regarding when antennas count towards the total height or not) <---EDIT: this assumes the Barj Tower rumors in Dubai are just rumors, or else it'll be #1 in the Americas only.
It looks pretty kick ass but after each redesign it gets more and more tapered at the top and is starting to look like a giant vibrator.
Watch the video: HERE
More of the complete story of the development of the Spire is: HERE
Money News:- Watch Out: Here Comes $4 Gasoline - AOL Money & Finance: "Watch Out: Here Comes $4 Gasoline By Steve Hargreaves, CNNMoney NEW YORK (April 26) -- Gasoline prices, already above $3 a gallon in some states, could charge higher this summer and hit $4 a gallon in some locations, according to one industry expert." Have fun driving, assholes. Public transportation anyone?
This is not a Photoshop. There is a pipe hidden in the stream of water to make it look like it's free floating. Pretty kick ass looking.
No, unfortunately she doesn't "go down" THAT way, but this is still pretty damn funny. Watch her eat pavement trying to cover her face from the photogs. The price of fame and all that.
View Video Here
Scarlett Goes Down - TMZ.com
"Ali Larter (the blonde chick from Heroes) was spotted in LA yesterday ordering a drink form some place called Great Earth Vitamins."
There's a ringing endorsement for your product. Look like a giant furrball covered in donkey shit just hit the back of your tongue when you drink our juice...mmmmm.mmmmm...goooood! She musta pissed off some papparazzo for them to put this pic of her out there.
Ali Larter makes funny faces
Is there anything better than seeing someone who is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be a "professional" playing the game worse than your Sunday morning league? Funny funny stuff... Football (Soccer) Bloopers
So a Polish guy walks into a restaurant...and cuts off his johnson. Yeah, not the same as the Polish jokes you may have heard when you were younger huh? WTF is this guy's major malfunction? Fucked up. HORRIFIED diners watched in shock as a maniac sliced off his manhood in a crowded pizza restaurant. The 35-year-old Pole burst into the Zizzi eaterie in central London and grabbed a knife from the kitchen. He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming. Read The Article HERE
OK, so it says $10 seats but there are those taxes and fees to look out for. Either way Skybus is catching some people's attention, we call them cheapskates.
CLICK HERE
The headline pretty much says it all. Kinda glad I wasn't born in India right now....
Teachers "purify" students with cow urine | Oddly Enough | Reuters.com
Real Whopper vs. Commercial Whopper. God those ads are so misleading. Cocksuckers. :( Check out the link for the rest of the photos of other products. Thanks to Pedro for the link.
So this story has been floating out there today, may as well post for those who haven't seen it yet.
Some retard took his kid to a fans day American Football game and was chilling on the end line (not a good place to hang out with your 4 year old son) They threw a long pass and the player SMASHED the kid into the wall and fucked him up pretty good. It's amazing the kid didn't get killed or made brain dead or some shit.
See video and story: HERE
OK last ones...mostly because you don't go up from here. Rodney Mullen is better than you, better than everyone. If you are flipping your board with your feet in any kind of kickflip, he invented it...and does it better than you. He makes the Tony Hawk look realistic. Enjoy
Rodney Mullen, Master of Skateboarders
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skate video rodney mullen and bam margera
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man there are a lot of these posted over there! I won't post too many more but this is Daewon...he's better than you.
Deawon song
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Ahhh memory lane. From a few years back, but I saw it again and thought I'd keep the candle lit. Plus he does some insane shit.
P.S. I found a video of the trick that put him on the map the infamous "Leap Of Faith" Enjoy.
Zero-New blood Jamie Thomas
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Jamie Thomas
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Well since they couldn't finish him off in real life, someone made a shooting game where you can kill Knut before he becomes and evil hell spawn...or an adult Polar Bear...whichever.
KILL KNUT HERE
(thanks again to S.A. Sonja ;) )
I've been listening to them since they began and saw them since their earliest shows in Chicago. Fuck I'm old.... All the same, they are a kick ass hardcore band (if you are into that sort of stuff, as you should be) This is their tribute album. I am most "amped" about Unearth doing "Clobberin' Time"
Jennifer Lopez is hot — in Russia.
The diva, whose career has cooled a bit in the U.S. — is reportedly being paid $2 million to sing at a 30th birthday party that a Russian tycoon is throwing for his wife.
There are probably more subtle ways of telling someone you hate their ass than having J-lo sing at your birthday party. I heard rumors he will be following up the performance with a cake made of horse feces to really drive the message home. READ ARTICLE HERE
Seriously...what else can you say but "Ugh" There is about a combine 3 IQ points represented in this picture and they are owned by the hair products both of these vegetables have in their hair...Ugh
Paris After Brit's Sloppy Seconds? - TMZ.com
Here is Knut's blog. I don't know if it's cute or creepy. They write it as if it is Knut writing it. Most of it is in German. (the link I'll give you is English) but as you navigate around, look for bold face type that asks you to click "mehr" for English entries. Enjoy. I'm sure there is a link for you to e-mail death threats as well if you are a douche bag. Knut's Blog Many many thanks to secret agent Sonja for the link ;)
You remember Knut, right? RIIIIGHT? Well, like every baby animal before him deserved, so deserves he. A death threat has been leveled against the horrendous miniature beast.
Seriously, what kind of sad pathetic douche sends in death threats to a baby animal in a zoo? Isn't there heads of state you can do that to? At least you'll get electroshocks to the balls for doing that shit and I'll get a good laugh. Retards...
CLICK HERE (Story)
CLICK HERE (Video)
There is a smoking ban that may be coming into effect in Holland, and some think it would extend to the "coffee shops" that let you smoke pot....What country has ever benefited from tourism? Bravo, Holland!
CLICK HERE
So Will and his directing buddy Adam McKay started a comedy video site backed by the company who backed Youtube and Google. It's called "Funny or Die" and the first video has been a sensation apparently. (well it did get more viewers than the CW, ESPN or Comedy Central normally get at any one time so....)
Here is that premiere video: CLICK HERE
Sanchez's Web dare: FunnyOrDie
He's at it again! Does Alec Baldwin have no shame?
EDIT: I am posting a link to the video since the thing auto-plays if you use the embedded player. I hate fucking retards who can't code simple video players properly. Yet another reason why Youtube is still king.
Baldwin v. Dora
This has probably already been posted to several million websites, but another one won't hurt anyone. Simply one of the greatest goals ever. Looks eerily like Maradona '86 (that one is still the greatest ever) Messi...he's gonna be pretty good. <---understatement of the century. Enjoy.
EDIT: Here is another video I found that compares the 2 Argentine's goals side by side. Stunningly similar. Enjoy.
As you know, all relationships are based solely on personality. Money plays no role...at all...ever...ever. That's why some of these Quasimodo looking athletes are with models/actresses et. al. not because they take home hundreds of thousands if not millions per year. Definitely not that.
Dream of your failures in becoming a pro athlete and look at what you could have had HERE.
Holy shit this is cheese. You will see after the jump that I am not the only one who thinks that.
I am all for videos of half naked...OK, preferably totally naked hot chicks...with me co-starring, but this shit is just sad.
C'mon sweetie, you threw half your dignity down the toilet making this dog shit, make it a clean sweep and flush the rest down the toilet doing actual porn for real money already and not this retarded detritus, OK?
Rediscover tears of sadness HERE
Don't you think it's awesome when your friends get shitfaced and you aren't drunk and you have to listen to them prattle on and on and on? Yeah, me neither; that's why I get trashed before they get a chance to.
I hope they don't look like THIS.
If you saw a sky that looks like this, would you say to yourself "Hmmm...where's the camera so I can take a pic of the incoming tornado"
I do believe I'd be under a blanket in the basement sopping the piss out of my pants until it passed.
Chek out the rest of the pix HERE
This is the "what the fuck?!?!?" post of the week.
Who gets so involved in their dogs love life that they look at Fido and say, "Ya know, 'ole Spot looks like he could use a nice pocket pussy to relieve some of that pent up sexual energy"
These are the people I run out into traffic during rush hour to try to avoid.
In fairness, on the product page they are marketing this as an alternative to neutering the dog. I suppose if someone gave me the option of cutting off my bean bag or humping the shit out of a latex woman for their amusement, I'd be riding the pleasure train to plastic town...hourly.
Buy Your's Now!
Ajax retire Cruyff's No. 14 jersey - CNN.com: "AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) -- Ajax will retire the No. 14 jersey of Johan Cruyff next Wednesday on his 60th birthday.
'Johan Cruyff has been of priceless value for Ajax and has brought worldwide fame to our club,' club chairman John Jaakke said."
Truer words have never been spoken. Cruijff (that is how it is really spelled you ethnocentrist bastards :p) is easily one of the 10 best of all time if not top 5.
Those of us who were born earlier enough (read: are older) had the pleasure of seeing him play in NASL in the US. Truly a gifted talent. Here is a video to see the legend in action:
Wow. This is pretty crazy. Though, in fairness, I've had and have heard of parents saying some 'strong' things to their kids. Let's not forget the concept of discipline entirely here.
I can't imagine what it has to be like to go through a divorce and custody dispute like so many people have had to go through. It's amazing anyone makes it through it in one piece. Also, there is no frame of reference in terms of what is going on in these people's lives, so I think I'll reserve judgment til they have their day in court.
Oh, whoops, I'm supposed to jump to conclusions though right? Guilty guilty!!! Fry 'em!
(thanks to Pedro for the link)
Alec Baldwin's Threatening Message to Daughter - TMZ.com
Free Speech? Nah....
Listen, what happened on Monday at VT was terrible. However, arresting someone for making dip shit asshole comments is pretty horrible too. We do (did) have a right to free speech which includes making asshole comments about tragedies without fear of being arrested. C'mon folks....
Top News- Student Arrested After Talking About Gunman - AOL News
JournalStar.com - Lincoln, Nebraska - News - Local: "A soccer mom, upset at her teenage daughter’s performance at a game Saturday, stopped along Interstate 80 and left her there."
You read that correctly. The girl didn't play up to snuff in a YOUTH LEAGUE-GIRL'S SOCCER MATCH and "mom" left her on the expressway when she wouldn't repeat "mom's" I Suck Mantra properly.
Now, there is never any excuse for this kinda of shit from parents, let me get that out of the way first. However, at least I can semi-remotely-understand when parents get mad at their little boys for not being the best baseball, basketball, football, soccer player on the team. Why? At least there is a pro league to aspire to that mom and dad can use as their retirement fund when junior makes it.
Last I checked, women's pro soccer leagues are scarce at best, and are hardly multi-multi million dollar affairs for most. (save the best of the best national team players)
Someone needs to toss this lady into the ocean tied up inside a burlap sack.
Plain and simple: if you kid sucks at sports, they suck at sports. Deal with it. Oh and remember that at least half of those "sucky" genes are coming from you fuck face.
Read this:
Washington Patrol says driver had record blood alcohol of .47: "REDMOND, Wash. -- The Washington State Patrol says a Woodinville woman arrested for investigation of drunken driving had a blood alcohol level of point-47 -- apparently a state record.
A Breathalyzer reading of point-08 is considered drunk driving.
The patrol says 54-year-old Deana F. Jarrett was involved in two non-injury collisions on Highway 520 in Redmond last Wednesday before she was taken into custody.
The patrol says she also had a D-U-I arrest the day before by Redmond police.
A records check of 356,000 breath tests conducted by the State Patrol since 1998 found none higher than a point-45."
So it' s good to see that a DUI arrest has the deterrent effect they desire. This guy is an asshole who probably should have been strapped to the wheel and used as a spare. What a waste of space. He is probably a recurring guest star on COPS.
Holy Crap...I received a chain letter today and thought it was the usual unsubstantiated shit; but they actually provided links to the actual stories they were writing about and...it was true. What is going on in these classes is painfully stupid. They "avoid" the Holocaust and the Crusades? So do they just skip the 300 years from 1000-1300 AD and pretend the world didn’t exist then?
Prepare to be PC’d to death. Idiocracy is here. It may be one school now, but it takes one seed to grow a great big tree of retardation. Schools drop Holocaust lessons to avoid offence-News-UK-Education-TimesOnline Another Article
Well Tolkien apparently left a book behind that his son has been cobbling together from the bits. It's supposed to be pretty good, if not much darker than LOTR, but more coherent and immediate than The Silmarillion.
The only question is: How will the producers of LOTR find a way to fuck Peter Jackson out of more money when this becomes a movie?
Lord of the ruins | Salon Books
Maybe this one won't be 9 hours long with no action to speak of. I have faith, the Transporter series is fun as shit (fuck you if you don't agree) I am looking forward to the new HULK. Always been a favorite of mine.
Variety.com - Norton to star in 'Hulk'
I think Chappelle is funny. I loved his show. However, 6 hours of comedy? Jesus tittiefuckin' Christ how weren't people committing hari kari en masse? I can't even imagine sitting somewhere for 6 hours and laughing. How does one's head not fall off? God damn!
Variety.com - Chappelle pulls all-nighter at Factory
