Mayhem and the Devil : All of Everything

we have re-re-moved!

2007-09-02T05:44:00.000-07:00

o the Typepad hosting is GONE and I am now hosting it on a server so I don't have to abide by so many rules (and it is much cheaper in all honesty) No word yet on what I might do with this blog, but I will do something with it sooner or later. :) In the meantime, go to: OUR NEW HOME HERE and click on the "LA LA LANDmine" logo to get to the celeb blog. There will be more content coming your way on there as well so sit tight. See ya soon...

New site

2007-05-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Have you made it over to the new HOME yet? If not, what the fuck is wrong with you? C'mon over. There are animated gifs of Jessica Biel's ass for no real reason what so ever. C'mon people! It looks so good. :)

NEW SITE

New Site

2007-05-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

OK, I totally lied. I'm not double posting. The new site is up and running. I will keep this one here for the archives of the REALLY old posts since they wouldn't let me take all my babies with me.

NEW SITE HERE

On the move!

2007-05-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

Ladies and germs, I am moving to a new host provider because it looks better and I should be able to generate some more traffic there. I will probably double post everything here and there for at least a few weeks. I will let you know once I am moving there full time. After that, this place will probably become more of a personal bullshit haven of no interest to anyone but me. Here is the new HOME! P.S. The blog title is changing too. I just thought it was too unwieldy. P.P.S. The "official" domain name will be www.sithomeandrot.com once all the internet nerd shit is all sorted out. But the one I provided above should still work no matter what.

Dumpster Or Domicile?

2007-05-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

Look closely...closer...too close. If you guessed "dumpster" you are wrong. This place had it's heart in the right place, but in the end it looks drab and lifeless and, oh yeah, it looks like piles of empty crates from a freight ship ready to go to the scrap yard. I guess that's why it's out in the middle of nowhere. See the rest of the pix HERE

Fun With Forests & Zip Lines

2007-05-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought to yourself, "fuck it, I'm in the jungle high above the canopy, lemme stretch a 1000m zip line 30m off the forest floor and fly way the fuck that way!" Some one did; and this guy was kind enough to videotape his journey. (you know you have a little part of you that is praying the rope snaps right? ) Video: HERE

'Babel' Is A Vomit Fest

2007-05-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

According to the Japanese distributor, watching the movie 'Babel' is liable to make you sick. At first I thought they were making a strange commentary on the relative weakness of the plot or story on offer, but apparently it's a strobe light scene that gives people the dizzies. At least they can say they share a kindred spirit with Pokemon. Bravo, 'Babel'! Full Story

Little Man, Big Cops

2007-05-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

This is probably the funniest thing that has ever appear on United States television. Possible hyperbole, but still, really funny. The dude tries to climb a light pole to get away from the cops for Christ's sake! EDIT: The video was auto loading if you embed it. Click HERE to see the the hilarity ensue.

Scarface Pt. 2 Trailer?

2007-05-02T00:19:00.001-07:00

Mascot Love

2007-05-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

World Get A More Little Dumber

2007-05-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

Lesson #1 why you don't get near an angry cow. Good one dumbfuck...

The Tap Is Back!

2007-05-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

Spinal Tap is reuniting for some earth awareness thing that people will give a shit about for a week then forget until another one is shoveled upon us. More Here. They also offer you this video.

Paris Hilton: Autopsy Art

2007-05-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

So for those who can't wait the 6 months til she is on the coroners table for real from drinking/drugs/STD/Stupidity, here is the latest sculpture from the man who brought you Britney's crowning girlie bits as she was giving birth to her son. Paris Hilton on an autopsy table complete with moveable guts. Is it odd that the sculpture has more life and personality than she does? Living room show piece for sure. STORY

Scarlett Johansson: The Re-deadening

2007-05-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

For those who couldn't get enough of the clip of Scarlett embarrassing herself at Coachella this weekend, here is a much longer version of her "singing" performance. Enjoy/leave hateful comments...

Lindsay Lohan Deserves An Oscar, Dammit!

2007-05-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

As soon as they start handing them out for doing coke in the bathroom of nightclubs and blowing 10 random guys a night in the back of limo I'm sure she is a shoe in. She really somehow manages to make herself look more retarded by the day. According to her, she is more famous than Madonna and the paparazzi are the only thing holding back her quest for Oscar. The jokes write themselves folks. Story Photo: Reuters/Mario Anzuoni

Faceplant

2007-05-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of Kathy Griffin which makes this all the funnier. She "attempted" to exit her car in London and ate pavement...HARD. Source EDIT: NO, she is not drunk. Makes it even sadder

Can't Stop Knut

2007-05-01T05:38:00.000-07:00

Attention struggling writers: You have been slaving for years over your novel. Perfecting it. Polishing it. Hoping someone would throw you the slightest bone so your voice could be heard. Now, an illiterate, infant POLAR BEAR has gotten a book deal. I suggest using Google to find the best way to end your life now. You were just beaten by a baby bear. Good one dumb fuck. Celebrity polar bear Knut gets book deal | Lifestyle | Reuters

The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers -

2007-05-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

Attention geeks: You really are a good lay. Chicks just don't know it yet. If only Galadriel would sally forth from Lothlorien and take you under her gossamer gown and let you show her the worldly delights of humans you'd show the world your status as a virgin is a grave injustice. The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers -: "The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers" (read the editor's note CAREFULLY if you are at work)

Good bye, Mike! Hello, Christine!

2007-04-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

So sportswriter Mike Penner of the LA Times is a transsexual. He feels he should be Christine...why this revelation was sports page worthy is anyone's guess. Just in case anyone out there is wondering what the hell happened to Mike Penner's columns now you know. Christine is taking over. Anyone else think he is praying hardcore that male pattern baldness doesn't run in his family? Read the full story HERE

Marilyn Manson Tries So Hard...

2007-04-30T16:41:00.000-07:00

Here is a video of a promo for some new song/album of his (should be safe for work, it's just 2 people kissing covered in blood). It's pretty much just a video of him making out with his new girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood. I guess I would do that too if I was 40 years old and I was nailing a 19 year old so I can't blame him too much...still a douche who tries too hard to be "shocking" rehashing Alice Cooper bits though.

Scarlett Sings (sorta)

2007-04-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

She has been "singing" more and more lately...and it makes me wish she would just sit around looking hot instead. Here is a video of her "singing" with Jesus and Mary Chain this past weekend at Coachella. Can you hear her? I can't. In the close up of her mouth she is clearly mumbling. Ridiculous...

Britney Dresses Funny

2007-04-30T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not expert on women's fasions, but what it the point of wearing a shirt that covers absolutely nothing and looks retarded? Is it a mosquito net, does she fear malaria? Holy shit it's malaria...we're all doomed! BTW-Judging by all the recent sightings of her, it looks like I have a new neighbor. Should be fun getting run off the road by papparazzo merauders in my own neighborhood in addition to work. Nice. More pix HERE

Cut That Hair!

2007-04-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

For those of you who's trip to Iran is coming up, I have bad news. They aren't allowing "Western hairdos" anymore. I'm not sure what qualifies so consult your Islamic hair law manual before you go. That is all. Iranian Barbers

Comments

2007-04-29T04:35:00.000-07:00

I noticed that it was requiring people to sign up to comment. There is a way to turn that off..I have done that. So comment if you'd like without having to add another e-mail to delete on a weekly basis or having to sign up to be a member at another place. ;)

Squirrel Catapult

2007-04-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

This is equal parts fucked up and hilarious. The squirrels probably didn't get fucked up so I don't feel as horrible for cracking up. Check it out. (Thanks again to Sonja)

Online Gambling: The Battle Begins

2007-04-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

OK sorry for the non-funny/amusing post, but it's interesting news (to me anyway) and it does kinda bug me. begin rant\ Last year the US made it illegal for banks to transfer money to online casinos. This hit the industry with multi billion dollar losses as the US market was the biggest cash cow. All the legit businesses were pushed out and now all of the shady characters remain (i.e. casinos who happily take your money but take 5 weeks to pay out, if at all). Rep. Barney Frank is starting the process to repeal the law. Partly because he believes it's an infringement on personal freedoms (which I agree with) but I am sure the WTO undoubtedly hitting the US with sanctions over this and the European Union considering a similar move certainly doesn't hurt. The fact that the US would stand to make somewhere in the neighborhood $4-10 BILLION a year off the taxes is probably pretty attractive as well. I wouldn't expect any definitive movement on this until after the elections (unless the WTO speeds up the sanctions process) Here's a story for more and a petition for you to sign if you feel the same that will be delivered to Rep. Frank. /end rant Online Gambling: Repeal UIGEA

JET MAN!

2007-04-27T17:42:00.000-07:00

Nothing should be allowed to be this kick ass! I had GI JOE figures who had this kind of shit, it's not supposed to be real! Too bad it can't land like a regular plane or a jet pack can but still. JET-MAN.COM MORE PIX HERE

A Computer Mouse That's Really A Mouse...W/ 99% More Plague!

2007-04-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Who in the fuck looked at a dead mouse and said "Hmmm...I should really shove some optical electronics up that things ass so I can control my computer. Why have I been using a plastic one like a sucker all these years!?!??" See the video and instructions on how to make your own affront to nature: HERE

MJ: Freeballin

2007-04-27T17:03:00.000-07:00

Michael Jordan partying in Mexico. Wonder why he got divorced? I also what the over under is on the number of minutes it took before he said "Hi, I'm Michael Jordan, Billionaire and world famous athlete, would you like to fuck now?" if I was MJ, it would be about 2 seconds. Money in the bank. source

Heidi's A Pirate? Aaaarrrrgh!

2007-04-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

I think I liked her better before her seafaring adventures. Could they slap a larger hunk of plastic to her face? It's gonna take a lot more to ugg her up...like advancing age. Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton

The Golden '80's Are Back! Party Time!

2007-04-27T16:49:00.000-07:00

You'll be happy to know that the price of keeping up your crippling addiction to blow will not only be cheaper this year, it will also be a more pure high. Phew! I was getting worried. Now you can race yourself faster to dependency and an early grave faster and cheaper. As long as you get to fuck a few models on the way down it's probably at least half worth it. U.S. drug czar's letter: Cocaine prices drop - CNN.com

Tyra Banks Is A Thief

2007-04-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

Tyra Banks Pays $120 Brunch Tab After Mix-Up | Russell Simmons, Tyra Banks : People.com: "Tyra Banks finally paid a brunch bill Thursday after mistakenly leaving a Manhattan eatery without settling the check last weekend." This is basically a total joke. If an average Joe walked out on a bill the manager would fist fuck you with a crowbar before calling the cops on your ass, even if it truly was accidental. I guess it helps to be rich, famous and good looking when fucking people over. BTW $120 bill for brunch? Isn't that supposed to be a light meal? Also, hasn't Tyra become a big enough fat ass as it is at this point that her bill should be closer to $2 for a few months? Yeah, I thought so too.

The Wiccans Are Coming! The Wiccans Are Coming!

2007-04-27T14:48:00.000-07:00

Pentacle Allowed On Veterans' Tombstones

The Department of Veteran Affairs will allow Wiccan symbols to appear on gravestones of veterans who practiced the faith. What do you think?

Two Headed Turtle

2007-04-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Fuck it, animal theme so far, how about a freaky lookin' two headed turtle for ya? If I had two head our combined brain power could crush granite just thinking about it. Damn evolution....

Drunk Monkey

2007-04-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

No, not the kung fu style, actual drunk monkeys. Enjoy. Thanks to Pedro for the find.

Signs, Yes, Signs

2007-04-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

Some humorous signs to pass the time.

thanks once again to Secret Agent Sonja ;)

Take That Asia!

2007-04-26T16:41:00.000-07:00

So there is now a multimedia presentation with the latest design of the "Chicago Spire" as it is called now. It will eventually DWARF Taipei 101 (the current leader) by nearly 700 ft and bring the title back to Chicago (which it never would have lost if not for strange technicalities regarding when antennas count towards the total height or not) <---EDIT: this assumes the Barj Tower rumors in Dubai are just rumors, or else it'll be #1 in the Americas only. It looks pretty kick ass but after each redesign it gets more and more tapered at the top and is starting to look like a giant vibrator. Watch the video: HERE More of the complete story of the development of the Spire is: HERE

Time For A Second Job

2007-04-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Money News:- Watch Out: Here Comes $4 Gasoline - AOL Money & Finance: "Watch Out: Here Comes $4 Gasoline By Steve Hargreaves, CNNMoney NEW YORK (April 26) -- Gasoline prices, already above $3 a gallon in some states, could charge higher this summer and hit $4 a gallon in some locations, according to one industry expert." Have fun driving, assholes. Public transportation anyone?

It's Magic

2007-04-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

This is not a Photoshop. There is a pipe hidden in the stream of water to make it look like it's free floating. Pretty kick ass looking.

It Speaks For Itself

2007-04-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Scarlett Johansson Goes Down

2007-04-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

No, unfortunately she doesn't "go down" THAT way, but this is still pretty damn funny. Watch her eat pavement trying to cover her face from the photogs. The price of fame and all that. View Video Here Scarlett Goes Down - TMZ.com

Ali Larter's Ringing Endoresement of Great Earth Vitamins

2007-04-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

"Ali Larter (the blonde chick from Heroes) was spotted in LA yesterday ordering a drink form some place called Great Earth Vitamins." There's a ringing endorsement for your product. Look like a giant furrball covered in donkey shit just hit the back of your tongue when you drink our juice...mmmmm.mmmmm...goooood! She musta pissed off some papparazzo for them to put this pic of her out there. Ali Larter makes funny faces

Bloopers

2007-04-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

Is there anything better than seeing someone who is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to be a "professional" playing the game worse than your Sunday morning league? Funny funny stuff... Football (Soccer) Bloopers

Having A Wiener Is SO Overrated

2007-04-24T18:07:00.000-07:00

So a Polish guy walks into a restaurant...and cuts off his johnson. Yeah, not the same as the Polish jokes you may have heard when you were younger huh? WTF is this guy's major malfunction? Fucked up. HORRIFIED diners watched in shock as a maniac sliced off his manhood in a crowded pizza restaurant. The 35-year-old Pole burst into the Zizzi eaterie in central London and grabbed a knife from the kitchen. He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming. Read The Article HERE

Wanna Fly For $10?

2007-04-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

OK, so it says $10 seats but there are those taxes and fees to look out for. Either way Skybus is catching some people's attention, we call them cheapskates. CLICK HERE

Teachers "purify" students with cow urine

2007-04-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

The headline pretty much says it all. Kinda glad I wasn't born in India right now.... Teachers "purify" students with cow urine | Oddly Enough | Reuters.com

Reality vs. Fantasy: Fast Food Style

2007-04-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Real Whopper vs. Commercial Whopper. God those ads are so misleading. Cocksuckers. :( Check out the link for the rest of the photos of other products. Thanks to Pedro for the link.

Smash the Baby!

2007-04-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

So this story has been floating out there today, may as well post for those who haven't seen it yet. Some retard took his kid to a fans day American Football game and was chilling on the end line (not a good place to hang out with your 4 year old son) They threw a long pass and the player SMASHED the kid into the wall and fucked him up pretty good. It's amazing the kid didn't get killed or made brain dead or some shit. See video and story: HERE

Rodney Mullen: Skateboarding

2007-04-24T14:58:00.000-07:00

OK last ones...mostly because you don't go up from here. Rodney Mullen is better than you, better than everyone. If you are flipping your board with your feet in any kind of kickflip, he invented it...and does it better than you. He makes the Tony Hawk look realistic. Enjoy Rodney Mullen, Master of Skateboarders

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Daewon Song: Skateboarding

2007-04-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

man there are a lot of these posted over there! I won't post too many more but this is Daewon...he's better than you. Deawon song

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Jamie Thomas: Skateboarding

2007-04-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

Ahhh memory lane. From a few years back, but I saw it again and thought I'd keep the candle lit. Plus he does some insane shit. P.S. I found a video of the trick that put him on the map the infamous "Leap Of Faith" Enjoy. Zero-New blood Jamie Thomas

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Jamie Thomas

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Knut Must Die II: The Re-Deadening

2007-04-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

Well since they couldn't finish him off in real life, someone made a shooting game where you can kill Knut before he becomes and evil hell spawn...or an adult Polar Bear...whichever. KILL KNUT HERE (thanks again to S.A. Sonja ;) )

Sick Of It All: Tribute

2007-04-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to them since they began and saw them since their earliest shows in Chicago. Fuck I'm old.... All the same, they are a kick ass hardcore band (if you are into that sort of stuff, as you should be) This is their tribute album. I am most "amped" about Unearth doing "Clobberin' Time"

100 Tons Of Explosives

2007-04-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing else to be said really. Kick ass.

Torture Still Legal In Russia

2007-04-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Lopez is hot — in Russia.

The diva, whose career has cooled a bit in the U.S. — is reportedly being paid $2 million to sing at a 30^th birthday party that a Russian tycoon is throwing for his wife.

There are probably more subtle ways of telling someone you hate their ass than having J-lo sing at your birthday party. I heard rumors he will be following up the performance with a cake made of horse feces to really drive the message home. READ ARTICLE HERE

The Vortex of Stupidity Is Discovered In Vegas

2007-04-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

Seriously...what else can you say but "Ugh" There is about a combine 3 IQ points represented in this picture and they are owned by the hair products both of these vegetables have in their hair...Ugh Paris After Brit's Sloppy Seconds? - TMZ.com

Can't Stop Knut!!

2007-04-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

Here is Knut's blog. I don't know if it's cute or creepy. They write it as if it is Knut writing it. Most of it is in German. (the link I'll give you is English) but as you navigate around, look for bold face type that asks you to click "mehr" for English entries. Enjoy. I'm sure there is a link for you to e-mail death threats as well if you are a douche bag. Knut's Blog Many many thanks to secret agent Sonja for the link ;)

Knut Must Die!!!

2007-04-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

You remember Knut, right? RIIIIGHT? Well, like every baby animal before him deserved, so deserves he. A death threat has been leveled against the horrendous miniature beast. Seriously, what kind of sad pathetic douche sends in death threats to a baby animal in a zoo? Isn't there heads of state you can do that to? At least you'll get electroshocks to the balls for doing that shit and I'll get a good laugh. Retards... CLICK HERE (Story) CLICK HERE (Video)

The Dutch Hate Tourists

2007-04-22T20:19:00.000-07:00

There is a smoking ban that may be coming into effect in Holland, and some think it would extend to the "coffee shops" that let you smoke pot....What country has ever benefited from tourism? Bravo, Holland! CLICK HERE

Will Ferrell Gives You Another Site To Kill Time With

2007-04-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

So Will and his directing buddy Adam McKay started a comedy video site backed by the company who backed Youtube and Google. It's called "Funny or Die" and the first video has been a sensation apparently. (well it did get more viewers than the CW, ESPN or Comedy Central normally get at any one time so....) Here is that premiere video: CLICK HERE Sanchez's Web dare: FunnyOrDie

When Baldwins Attack Redux

2007-04-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

He's at it again! Does Alec Baldwin have no shame? EDIT: I am posting a link to the video since the thing auto-plays if you use the embedded player. I hate fucking retards who can't code simple video players properly. Yet another reason why Youtube is still king. Baldwin v. Dora

Lionel Messi: WOW

2007-04-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

This has probably already been posted to several million websites, but another one won't hurt anyone. Simply one of the greatest goals ever. Looks eerily like Maradona '86 (that one is still the greatest ever) Messi...he's gonna be pretty good. <---understatement of the century. Enjoy.

EDIT: Here is another video I found that compares the 2 Argentine's goals side by side. Stunningly similar. Enjoy.

Comparativa gol de Messi y Maradona
Uploaded by cariacolov

It's Their Personality

2007-04-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

As you know, all relationships are based solely on personality. Money plays no role...at all...ever...ever. That's why some of these Quasimodo looking athletes are with models/actresses et. al. not because they take home hundreds of thousands if not millions per year. Definitely not that. Dream of your failures in becoming a pro athlete and look at what you could have had HERE.

Guess Her Favorite Number

2007-04-20T05:29:00.000-07:00

Holy shit this is cheese. You will see after the jump that I am not the only one who thinks that. I am all for videos of half naked...OK, preferably totally naked hot chicks...with me co-starring, but this shit is just sad. C'mon sweetie, you threw half your dignity down the toilet making this dog shit, make it a clean sweep and flush the rest down the toilet doing actual porn for real money already and not this retarded detritus, OK? Rediscover tears of sadness HERE

Get Your Beers In

2007-04-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

Don't you think it's awesome when your friends get shitfaced and you aren't drunk and you have to listen to them prattle on and on and on? Yeah, me neither; that's why I get trashed before they get a chance to. I hope they don't look like THIS.

Let's Go Outside

2007-04-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

If you saw a sky that looks like this, would you say to yourself "Hmmm...where's the camera so I can take a pic of the incoming tornado" I do believe I'd be under a blanket in the basement sopping the piss out of my pants until it passed. Chek out the rest of the pix HERE

Holiday

2007-04-20T05:04:00.000-07:00

Don't forget, today is Look Alike Day. If you find my doppleganger, punch him in the face for me. The world can't handle that much handsomeness. Who thinks of this shit? Get the rest of the bullshit April holidays list HERE.

For When A Leg Just Isn't Enough...

2007-04-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

This is the "what the fuck?!?!?" post of the week. Who gets so involved in their dogs love life that they look at Fido and say, "Ya know, 'ole Spot looks like he could use a nice pocket pussy to relieve some of that pent up sexual energy" These are the people I run out into traffic during rush hour to try to avoid. In fairness, on the product page they are marketing this as an alternative to neutering the dog. I suppose if someone gave me the option of cutting off my bean bag or humping the shit out of a latex woman for their amusement, I'd be riding the pleasure train to plastic town...hourly. Buy Your's Now!

Ajax retire Cruijff's No. 14

2007-04-19T16:45:00.000-07:00

Ajax retire Cruyff's No. 14 jersey - CNN.com: "AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) -- Ajax will retire the No. 14 jersey of Johan Cruyff next Wednesday on his 60th birthday. 'Johan Cruyff has been of priceless value for Ajax and has brought worldwide fame to our club,' club chairman John Jaakke said." Truer words have never been spoken. Cruijff (that is how it is really spelled you ethnocentrist bastards :p) is easily one of the 10 best of all time if not top 5. Those of us who were born earlier enough (read: are older) had the pleasure of seeing him play in NASL in the US. Truly a gifted talent. Here is a video to see the legend in action:

When Baldwins Attack

2007-04-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

Wow. This is pretty crazy. Though, in fairness, I've had and have heard of parents saying some 'strong' things to their kids. Let's not forget the concept of discipline entirely here. I can't imagine what it has to be like to go through a divorce and custody dispute like so many people have had to go through. It's amazing anyone makes it through it in one piece. Also, there is no frame of reference in terms of what is going on in these people's lives, so I think I'll reserve judgment til they have their day in court. Oh, whoops, I'm supposed to jump to conclusions though right? Guilty guilty!!! Fry 'em! (thanks to Pedro for the link) Alec Baldwin's Threatening Message to Daughter - TMZ.com

Cue Overreation

2007-04-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

Free Speech? Nah.... Listen, what happened on Monday at VT was terrible. However, arresting someone for making dip shit asshole comments is pretty horrible too. We do (did) have a right to free speech which includes making asshole comments about tragedies without fear of being arrested. C'mon folks.... Top News- Student Arrested After Talking About Gunman - AOL News

The World Gets A More Little Dumber

2007-04-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

JournalStar.com - Lincoln, Nebraska - News - Local: "A soccer mom, upset at her teenage daughter’s performance at a game Saturday, stopped along Interstate 80 and left her there." You read that correctly. The girl didn't play up to snuff in a YOUTH LEAGUE-GIRL'S SOCCER MATCH and "mom" left her on the expressway when she wouldn't repeat "mom's" I Suck Mantra properly. Now, there is never any excuse for this kinda of shit from parents, let me get that out of the way first. However, at least I can semi-remotely-understand when parents get mad at their little boys for not being the best baseball, basketball, football, soccer player on the team. Why? At least there is a pro league to aspire to that mom and dad can use as their retirement fund when junior makes it. Last I checked, women's pro soccer leagues are scarce at best, and are hardly multi-multi million dollar affairs for most. (save the best of the best national team players) Someone needs to toss this lady into the ocean tied up inside a burlap sack. Plain and simple: if you kid sucks at sports, they suck at sports. Deal with it. Oh and remember that at least half of those "sucky" genes are coming from you fuck face.

Have Another Round: Man Blows A .47 In Washington

2007-04-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

Read this: Washington Patrol says driver had record blood alcohol of .47: "REDMOND, Wash. -- The Washington State Patrol says a Woodinville woman arrested for investigation of drunken driving had a blood alcohol level of point-47 -- apparently a state record. A Breathalyzer reading of point-08 is considered drunk driving. The patrol says 54-year-old Deana F. Jarrett was involved in two non-injury collisions on Highway 520 in Redmond last Wednesday before she was taken into custody. The patrol says she also had a D-U-I arrest the day before by Redmond police. A records check of 356,000 breath tests conducted by the State Patrol since 1998 found none higher than a point-45." So it' s good to see that a DUI arrest has the deterrent effect they desire. This guy is an asshole who probably should have been strapped to the wheel and used as a spare. What a waste of space. He is probably a recurring guest star on COPS.

The World Becomes A More Little Dumber

2007-04-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

Holy Crap...I received a chain letter today and thought it was the usual unsubstantiated shit; but they actually provided links to the actual stories they were writing about and...it was true. What is going on in these classes is painfully stupid. They "avoid" the Holocaust and the Crusades? So do they just skip the 300 years from 1000-1300 AD and pretend the world didn’t exist then?

Prepare to be PC’d to death. Idiocracy is here. It may be one school now, but it takes one seed to grow a great big tree of retardation. Schools drop Holocaust lessons to avoid offence-News-UK-Education-TimesOnline Another Article

Nerds Unite!!!

2007-04-18T02:12:00.000-07:00

Well Tolkien apparently left a book behind that his son has been cobbling together from the bits. It's supposed to be pretty good, if not much darker than LOTR, but more coherent and immediate than The Silmarillion. The only question is: How will the producers of LOTR find a way to fuck Peter Jackson out of more money when this becomes a movie? Lord of the ruins | Salon Books

The Incredible HULK Is Back! (and hopefully not boring this time)

2007-04-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe this one won't be 9 hours long with no action to speak of. I have faith, the Transporter series is fun as shit (fuck you if you don't agree) I am looking forward to the new HULK. Always been a favorite of mine. Variety.com - Norton to star in 'Hulk'

Only In Indiana

2007-04-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

No description necessary. It's Indiana.

Chappelle Is A Machine.

2007-04-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

I think Chappelle is funny. I loved his show. However, 6 hours of comedy? Jesus tittiefuckin' Christ how weren't people committing hari kari en masse? I can't even imagine sitting somewhere for 6 hours and laughing. How does one's head not fall off? God damn! Variety.com - Chappelle pulls all-nighter at Factory

Couldn't Happen To A Nicer Guy

2007-04-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahaha! So apparently the asshat that infected us with N'Sync and other heinous boybands, Lou Pearleman, is broke and if you listen to some reports, he is also in the game of bilking banks and seniors out of money! Payback's a bitch...I mostly give a shit about him disgracing the world with the boybands though, the seniors probably had the money to spare. ;)

Orlando Sentinel Story

This Just In: People Like To Have Sex

2007-04-17T17:15:00.000-07:00

This is probably about the least shocking findings you will ever read. Who new the primal urge to procreate would overcome people's willpower at times? Shocking. Click the pic below for the story.

Jessica Simpson's nipple busts out

2007-04-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, most people would think it's probably best to get a top that covers your self a bit better than this...I on the other hand am happy she is a retard. (click the pic to see the NSFW pix on The Superficial--not all that revealing though)

German Army Prepares To Invade NYC!!! Now W/ Video!

2007-04-17T01:07:00.000-07:00

OK so here's the video of that instructor concocting his tale of a Bronx invasion and encountering black men in a van. The cries of "mah-tha-fahkkah" would probably make me burn the constitution and hand over the keys to the White House to that soldier...bone chilling.

Drunk? Tired? Sleep Near A Train!

2007-04-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

"BERLIN (Reuters) - A drunken man who fell under a train after being jolted out of a nap at a railway station emerged unscathed from beneath the locomotive." Wow. So Germany is like 1 for 3 this week on this blog. I guess everyone has had a night or 500 where you get so fucked up you decided to take a nap next to the train tracks. One place to sleep is no better than another really... Drunken German emerges unscathed from under train | Oddly Enough

World's most expensive Dirndl dress

2007-04-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

I have no other reason to post this than the chick is pretty cute and showing cleavage, prerequisite 1 and 2 to get in the blogmedia these days.
I'm pretty sure people only wear dirndl's for shits and giggles or if they just want to show how nice their boobies are...god dammit...I just said boobies. People's Daily Online -- World's most expensive Dirndl dress

British union calls for boycott of Israeli goods

2007-04-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

British union calls for boycott of Israeli goods - International Herald Tribune: "On the union's conference blog, however, a critic of the ballot, identified as Olivia Lang, said 'it is not going to make life easier for journalists anywhere in the world' to be seen to be taking sides. 'We need to strive to maintain our objectivity when reporting,' she wrote." Gee what a novel thought. Journalists reporting the news and not taking sides and skewing facts. It's an epidemic in journalism to get the big story and make the big splash irregardless of whether or not what you are doing is ethical or not. How's this: report what is happening without coloring it with your own politics and let people decide what they think? If your personal politics don't jibe with something, sure protest it on your own time, but to do it as an organized body of journalists is simply wrong.

Proof The Public School System Has Failed.

2007-04-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

Maybe the school reform crowd has a point. Listen to this barely literate bullshit. Yikes. EDIT: Video deleted on Youtube. Carry on.

Films falter, but Weinsteins stay focused

2007-04-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is a visual representation of what Grindhouse and other Weinstein Co. films have been doing at the box office lately. All joking aside, it's hard to see these guys failing. They took Miramax to the top with a little bit of capital and made it a world known brand...that Disney promptly raped and took from them. Read the full story here below: Films falter, but Weinsteins stay focused - International Herald Tribune

Death Toll in Virginia Tech Rampage at 33

2007-04-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

Wow. So this is obviously a horrible tragedy. The worst part is the handling of the situation by Virginia Tech. I am a big advocate of e-mailing. I mean, if it's something that is e-mailable; do it. I don't want to talk to people I don't have to on the phone or in person. However, sending out an e-mail saying "hey, heads up for the maniac blasting people on campus" 2 hours after the shit starts hitting the fan is retarded plain and simple. That is to say nothing of the fact that there was a 2 hour or so break between shootings. Seriously, what the fuck is going on there? Someone calls the cops to say there is a killpage going on and it takes them 2 hours to get there? Get your shit together. The least this ineptitude deserves is the ever loving shit sued outta them; school and police (if the reports that they were called and took 2 hours to get there are in fact verified to be true). I hate the saying "my thoughts and prayers go out to the family" mostly because I don't pray and it sounds royally cliche but there really is no other way to put it. I really do hope they are able to find a place of peace with all of this madness as soon as possible. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to lose one of your children like this. Top News- Death Toll in Virginia Tech Rampage at 33 - AOL News

Man races world's fastest cat--loses horribly

2007-04-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

Cheetahs are one of my favorite animals. But seriously, how does this raise awareness of their plight? Did anyone really tune in to see if the guy would win the race, and believe that he actually could? Reading his 100m times he's not all that impressive to begin with. I guess I'm talking about it now but mostly for how fucking stupid it is. If you wanted to look and sound like a dumb fuck, mission accomplished. There is a video of the "event" but it looks like a 5 year old Thalidomide baby shot it. Good to see "professional" standards are upheld in the South African news media these days. Man races world's fastest cat - CNN.com

The German Army Is Going To Invade The Bronx, New York City!!!

2007-04-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

OK maybe not, but apparently this drill instructor has some ideas about what it would be like. Apparently we would send vans of black guys to harass them instead of the army. Sounds like some training regime that army unit has there. Is this guy a dipshit for more reasons than can be explained? Uh, yeah. German Army: racism 'unacceptable' - CNN.com

Patent app hints at iPhone controlling Mac, iTunes - Engadget

2007-04-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

Patent app hints at iPhone controlling Mac, iTunes - Engadget Here is one for you Mac maniacs out there. If you are too lazy to move your arms the required 1.5 ft to control your computer with keyboard and mouse, iPhone is here to the rescue. I hope it helps cure your alligator arm ailment.

Funny Penalty Kick-At Least He Stopped It

2007-04-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

This kinda stuff always gets me. Funny stuff: Edit: I originally embedded the video but since they auto-start, unlike youtube videos that require you to click to play, I'll just provide the link. ;) Beaned - Funny videos, picures, games and flash cartoons with codes Thanks to Luis for posting to his blog

There is no 9/11 conspiracy you morons.

2007-04-14T03:01:00.000-07:00

There is no 9/11 conspiracy you morons. This rant really cracked me up. If you haven't checked out Maddox's page you haven't been going to the right sites. His "I can draw better than your kids" from lord knows how many years ago hooked me. Check it out, I am sure you will get a few laughs or maybe be one of the poor souls who sends in hate mail. :) Enjoy.

Vonnegut Dead...Onion Style

2007-04-13T15:59:00.001-07:00

Kurt Vonnegut Dead

Kurt Vonnegut, author of The Sirens of Titan and Slaughterhouse-Five, died late Wednesday evening of head injuries sustained in a fall...

TV News- Andy Richter Sitcom Pulled By NBC - AOL News

2007-04-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

TV News- Andy Richter Sitcom Pulled By NBC - AOL News Poor son of a bitch can't catch a break. He shoulda stayed on the couch...some people never learn.

Great New Offer From The Government!!!

2007-04-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

Goddamn, if someone really did send this; its hilarious. Where do I sign up?!?!

An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator: The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart Senate Office Building Phone (202) 224 3254 Washington DC, 20510 Dear Senator Harkin, As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005. Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son. Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance. Your Loyal Constituent, Donald Ruppert Burlington, IA Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

2007-04-13T03:52:00.000-07:00

Hot Chicks with Douchebags I can't believe it took me this long to post this one. If you haven't seen this site yet, you have missed out on some sad, sad, funny shit. Some of these dudes need to take a nice long swim with some concrete flippers. Total tools.

Jr. Hockey Fight

2007-04-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus tittiefuckin Christ this killed me!

World's First X-Ray

2007-04-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

Saw this and thought it was pretty cool...don't give a shit if you think so or not, I do. "In 1901 Wilhelm Konrad Roentgen was the first recipient of the Nobel Prize for Physics, and he truly deserves his place in history because his discovery revolutionized the medical world. A series of experiments helped him notice that barium platinocyanide emits a fluorescent glow. Combining his observation with a photographic plate and his wife’s hand, he made the first X-ray photo, and thus, made it possible to look inside the human body without surgical intervention." Source

Hayden Panettiere licks her friend's boob

2007-04-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

So is the new marketing slogan for Heroes "Get licked by the cheerleader, save the world" They might have to move it to Cinemax if that's the case. :p source